Instant Benefits

Back when I was in university, one of my college professors talked about a conversation that he had with a friend about never having energy to do the things he wanted to do. The professor said he advised his friend to ignore his fatigue and exercise, do his housework, or go out. He told him that doing these things would bring about more energy. Rather than focus on "rest" when he was tired, he encouraged his acquaintance to focus on activity.

A lot of women talk about how losing weight gives them energy, but a handful say that they don't experience such a change. I sometimes wonder if the energy that people gain from weight loss is as much, possibly more, about increased activity across the board rather than having a lighter body. Yes, it is less energy-consuming to move around a smaller body, but there are thin people who are tired and lethargic, too, and fat people who are bursting with energy. The primary change that people make when they want to lose weight is that they move around more.

I'm not only talking about moving around more by exercising; there is also the fact that they stop hiding in their homes and go out and do things they used to avoid doing because of bodily shame. Part of losing weight often involves swallowing your embarrassment and putting yourself out there. Interestingly, having to do this in turn builds confidence in yourself. You either go out and weather the abuse and learn to face it with your head up, or you give up and go back into hiding. Learning to deal with any sort of adversity in life will breed confidence.

I've been wondering as of late if weight loss is incidental to things like increased energy and improved confidence rather than a product of it. Perhaps it's as much about what the processes give you as the loss of pounds. "Looking better" is highly subjective, and any sense of confidence that people get from weight loss is like a balloon that is ready to be popped by the first person who looks them over and callously says, "you don't look like you've lost much weight."

I can't tell you how many women in weight loss forums talk about feeling great about themselves only to have someone say something that completely leaves them crestfallen. The confidence from "looking better" is a fragile illusion which places power outside of yourself. That which you derive from your actions is real and comes from the power inside of you.

This is good food for thought because it means some of the biggest non-aesthetic benefits of weight loss can be had by people regardless of how much (if any) they lose. Of course, if they don't lose, they get frustrated and give up and go back to old ways and believe they lose energy and confidence because they remain fat. However, if you focus on the actions (moving more, getting out and learning to cope with insults) rather than the results (losing weight), and just do what is best, perhaps there is satisfaction and improvement in quality of life to be had on those points alone. Rather than be tortured by the number on the scale, seek the "instant" benefits which are yours for the taking and be patient with the delivery of the long-term results.

Looking For Loopholes

Sometimes I think about all of my past failures with trying to lose weight (in addition to my one success), and ponder why I failed before and am succeeding now. One of the biggest reasons is that my initial motivation to change was much larger this time so I had a bigger push to find a way to make it work this time. My "big life change" in several years which will require that I find a new job scared me into doing something last year.

While that motivation got me going, it isn't what has me succeeding. I think there are plenty of people who have even more important and pressing motives than me. For instance, there are people with very dire health problems or who are at risk who need to lose weight. There are also people with children or families to look after. My motive is definitely not the most pressing, and I frankly don't believe any long-term change in lifestyle can occur only because of a good, strong motivator.

This time out, one thing I finally figured out, and this is obvious intellectually, but not so emotionally, is that there are no loopholes in dealing with the food side of this. Part of the reason we (fat people) think there are loopholes is that we are constantly marketed solutions that will spare us the part we feel the least emotionally equipped to handle, controlling our eating. Low carb is supposed to make us feel less hungry by default so that we won't have to fight our urges. Weight Watchers is supposed to give us freedom so we can eat what we want as long as we stay within allotted points. Plans to focus on fitness are supposed to allow us to keep over-fueling our bodies by burning off the excess energy.

We look for loopholes because we feel hopeless and powerless in the face of food. This is what makes it an addiction. If we can just find the right alchemy, either our hunger will vanish and we won't have to fight our cravings or we can shovel in as much food as we want without gaining weight. We're desperate for the loophole that will help us escape being under the spell of food. This desperation has fueled economic empires as diet pills, supplements, diet plans, and exercise gear and plans are grasped at by people like me who feel the only way out is a loophole.

This time around, I've finally internalized the idea that there are no loopholes or special diets that will make it all go away. It will never go away. I will always have to face times when I am hungry and have to fight not acting on that hunger. I will have to build up the ability to resist food and limit portions. I have to create the psychological building blocks that allow me to do these things because there is no loophole that will allow me to not do the hard mental work.