As I was going through the day being careful about what I was eating and dutifully writing it all down, I had a craving for pancakes. I knew I couldn't spend any calories on the luxury of pancakes on a day when I was being careful and I dealt with the craving by telling myself, "tomorrow, I can have them for breakfast."
Yes, I do allow myself pancakes on occasion. However, I only eat two of them about the size of my palm with about a pat of butter and reduced calorie syrup. Still, with a small cup of coffee, and slow eating where I'm tasting and enjoying the texture of every bite, this is just fine. I deal with the portion issue by making all of the pancakes that the amount of batter allows, cooling them on a rack, wrapping them in packets of two in foil, and heating them in the toaster oven when I want them. That not only allows great portion control, but means it's easy to have them any time without hassle. They come out of the toaster oven as good as fresh.
My point is that any time I really want something, but know I can't really accommodate them in the day's calorie totals, I tell myself that I can have it tomorrow. Sometimes I don't want the thing I craved anymore and sometimes I do. The important point is that when I eat it, it's at a controlled moment and as part of the meal plan for the entire day. By waiting, I am also better to limit portions effectively since I'm not acting on an impulse.
I don't want to undermine the difficulty of reaching this stage in my approach to food. It took me a long time and a lot of mental energy to get to the point where I could manage this. In the beginning, telling myself "tomorrow" was mainly based on the fact that I wasn't counting calories on Friday (well, I'm still not, but I'm being very careful without counting on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday). That "tomorrow" meant I could indulge if I really wanted to. This was my emotional "trap door" for escaping the feeling that I was seriously confined by a "diet". That early exercise in behavior modification has transmuted into a newer, more profound control over my eating on non-counting days.
Getting to today though, the total was 1445 and it was pretty good. I had sweet potato bread with low calorie margarine, coffee, chef's salad, tomato soup (homemade), rice crackers, a persimmon, chicken, onion soup, hot chocolate, and a couple of tiny treats - a chocolate wafer about half the size of a KitKat finger and a tiny, tiny cake (40 calories for the morsel). It almost felt like a lot of food, though there were times when I was really, really hungry.
Showing posts with label Thursday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thursday. Show all posts
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday: October 8, 2009 (late posting)
I'm starting to have serious issues with my pants. They're now so baggy and long that they're wrapping around the heels of my shoes. I'm going to have to break out the needle and thread and do some hemming of the baggier ones. Based on various observations, I'd say I've easily lost 30 lbs. by now, probably more. Since I'm not weighing myself, it's always a ballpark estimate, and I'm still okay with that. I think I may actually consider weighing myself when I hit the point where I think the average household scale won't break on me. :-p
I'm going to step up my game on the calorie counting front. I'm adding in a third day (Tuesday) to the rotation and adding another 100 calories to the days when I count. I realize that the higher the calories, the slower I'll lose, but I also know that it'll also make it easier to do this more often and prime me for the future. Even before I started the calorie counting one day a week, I knew that I would be increasing the calorie allowances as I added in more days of strict counting.
The high figure I'll be allowing when all is said and done is 1600 a day, everyday, with a hope of going lower if it can be managed emotionally and physically. The average person who engages in light activity needs about 2000 calories to maintain their weight. At my estimated current weight, I believe that I would need 2500 calories a day to maintain (and that's estimating my weight somewhat low, so it might be more). At 1600, I would lose 2 lbs. a week with diminishing returns as I lose more weight and the amount of calories required to maintain my body mass starts to drop if I was at or under 1600 everyday. I hope to offset the slowdown by exercising more as more weight comes off and I can move more easily. Right now, I have a recumbent bike that I bought to exercise with, but my belly is so big that it's very hard to use as my thighs have to heft the weight of my stomach to move.
I've done some rough calculations and with a goal weight of 150 lbs. (this would be sufficient for me, though probably still considered "too fat" by some people's standards), I would be able to continue to lose weight at 1400 calories per day in the distant future. I figure that, as I approach a lower point, I'll consider reducing the numbers downward. For now though, I'm going up to 3 days at 1500 starting from now.
All of this math and faffing about is the reason that I resist calorie counting and dieting. It's tedious and irritating, but I've found it more bearable because I started so slowly. In fact, I frankly am desiring more structure on the days between Saturday and Thursday as I feel like I'm overdoing it in the gap between the days and need another "reset" point in between.
As for this Thursday, it went pretty well. The total for the day was 1485 and that included sweet potato bread and coffee for breakfast, tuna on pepper crackers and a persimmon for lunch, hot cocoa, rice crackers, a carrot, and a banana smoothie as snacks, and a portion of a pork chop (all fat trimmed), a tiny amount of rice, and steamed pumpkin for dinner. Despite feeling like I ate a lot, I still suffered some hard hunger pangs. My body can't be fooled when it's not getting as many calories as it wants, and I'm going to have to keep fighting that.
I'm going to step up my game on the calorie counting front. I'm adding in a third day (Tuesday) to the rotation and adding another 100 calories to the days when I count. I realize that the higher the calories, the slower I'll lose, but I also know that it'll also make it easier to do this more often and prime me for the future. Even before I started the calorie counting one day a week, I knew that I would be increasing the calorie allowances as I added in more days of strict counting.
The high figure I'll be allowing when all is said and done is 1600 a day, everyday, with a hope of going lower if it can be managed emotionally and physically. The average person who engages in light activity needs about 2000 calories to maintain their weight. At my estimated current weight, I believe that I would need 2500 calories a day to maintain (and that's estimating my weight somewhat low, so it might be more). At 1600, I would lose 2 lbs. a week with diminishing returns as I lose more weight and the amount of calories required to maintain my body mass starts to drop if I was at or under 1600 everyday. I hope to offset the slowdown by exercising more as more weight comes off and I can move more easily. Right now, I have a recumbent bike that I bought to exercise with, but my belly is so big that it's very hard to use as my thighs have to heft the weight of my stomach to move.
I've done some rough calculations and with a goal weight of 150 lbs. (this would be sufficient for me, though probably still considered "too fat" by some people's standards), I would be able to continue to lose weight at 1400 calories per day in the distant future. I figure that, as I approach a lower point, I'll consider reducing the numbers downward. For now though, I'm going up to 3 days at 1500 starting from now.
All of this math and faffing about is the reason that I resist calorie counting and dieting. It's tedious and irritating, but I've found it more bearable because I started so slowly. In fact, I frankly am desiring more structure on the days between Saturday and Thursday as I feel like I'm overdoing it in the gap between the days and need another "reset" point in between.
As for this Thursday, it went pretty well. The total for the day was 1485 and that included sweet potato bread and coffee for breakfast, tuna on pepper crackers and a persimmon for lunch, hot cocoa, rice crackers, a carrot, and a banana smoothie as snacks, and a portion of a pork chop (all fat trimmed), a tiny amount of rice, and steamed pumpkin for dinner. Despite feeling like I ate a lot, I still suffered some hard hunger pangs. My body can't be fooled when it's not getting as many calories as it wants, and I'm going to have to keep fighting that.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday: October 1, 2009
One of the hardest points about being very overweight and working on dealing with your problem is that progress seems so tiny. If you weigh over 300 lbs, losing 1 lb. is such a drop in the bucket as a percentage of your body weight that you don't feel like you're getting anywhere. These last few days, I've had the distinct sense of moving at a snail's pace.
I want to feel better and look better, but I don't feel like I'm getting far on either of those fronts. I've been at this relatively informally since around mid-June and more formally since mid-July and I've definitely made very noticeable progress. However, I don't really feel any better about how I look and that's because I still look very, very fat. I'm not even sure if anyone other than my husband and I can tell that the tires around my body have deflated somewhat and that my flab is less bulgy.
Though I find this disheartening, I don't find it discouraging. As I've mentioned before, I'm not itching to go back to eating more or indulging in foods I am currently avoiding. I feel like a marathon runner who is anxious to get to the finish line but knows she's only halfway through the first mile. The process isn't troubling me so much as the distance from the goal. Also, and I haven't mentioned this before because it's more revealing than I wanted to put out there when I started this blog, but I have a deadline. There is a major life change in my future and I don't want to go into it at this weight. The change will require me to find a new job and I feel that I cannot find a new employer at my current weight.
Getting to Thursday, I had a pretty good day of it with a total around 1450. My main problem was that I'd planned ground pork burgers (thoroughly mixed with vegetables as part of their composition) for dinner and hoped more fat would drain off of the burgers as they cooked than did. I may have underestimated the calories on the burger, but I tried to make a good guess of it. The burger was pretty small. Nutrition-wise though, I did very well with oatmeal for breakfast, a chef's salad for lunch, a banana smoothie and tomato soup for snacks, and the previously mentioned burger with broccoli and a baked potato for dinner. Even if I vastly underestimated, my total still wouldn't be too bad.
I want to feel better and look better, but I don't feel like I'm getting far on either of those fronts. I've been at this relatively informally since around mid-June and more formally since mid-July and I've definitely made very noticeable progress. However, I don't really feel any better about how I look and that's because I still look very, very fat. I'm not even sure if anyone other than my husband and I can tell that the tires around my body have deflated somewhat and that my flab is less bulgy.
Though I find this disheartening, I don't find it discouraging. As I've mentioned before, I'm not itching to go back to eating more or indulging in foods I am currently avoiding. I feel like a marathon runner who is anxious to get to the finish line but knows she's only halfway through the first mile. The process isn't troubling me so much as the distance from the goal. Also, and I haven't mentioned this before because it's more revealing than I wanted to put out there when I started this blog, but I have a deadline. There is a major life change in my future and I don't want to go into it at this weight. The change will require me to find a new job and I feel that I cannot find a new employer at my current weight.
Getting to Thursday, I had a pretty good day of it with a total around 1450. My main problem was that I'd planned ground pork burgers (thoroughly mixed with vegetables as part of their composition) for dinner and hoped more fat would drain off of the burgers as they cooked than did. I may have underestimated the calories on the burger, but I tried to make a good guess of it. The burger was pretty small. Nutrition-wise though, I did very well with oatmeal for breakfast, a chef's salad for lunch, a banana smoothie and tomato soup for snacks, and the previously mentioned burger with broccoli and a baked potato for dinner. Even if I vastly underestimated, my total still wouldn't be too bad.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Thursday: September 24, 2009
When it comes to food, I have noticed that it's easy to find yourself in a "stretch to fit" situation. The Thursdays which felt free a few weeks ago when I upped my total from 1200 to 1400 felt very constricted today. When I got to the end of the day, I was hard pressed to avoid going over the 1458 I reached.
The main issue is that the added 200 calories was consumed easily in one fruit smoothie (no sugar - just fruit, artificial sweetener, skim milk, and ice) which I added for a snack. It really is an object lesson in how quickly one snack or beverage can send your calorie counts high, even when the food you're eating is generally seen as healthy and low calorie.
It could be that I also went overboard on overestimating the calories at lunch. I had a big salad (lots of lettuce, onions, and 1/2 a tomato) with cottage cheese, dressing, and some croutons. I aimed high on the values for everything but the vegetables, but still. By the end of the day, while I was waiting for dinner time to roll around, I was starving and having to tell myself that this is what trying to lose weight is supposed to feel like. Yes, I was very, very hungry, but that's the price I'm paying for not being so for decades leading up to this point. I also walked more yesterday than usual, so that likely played a part as well, but I resisted the urge to eat more.
On the bright side, my bra continues to require tightening up. Besides being on the furthest hook, I now have to hike up the straps to nearly the point where they cannot be pulled up any more. New bras are definitely on the horizon, and this is quite encouraging.
The main issue is that the added 200 calories was consumed easily in one fruit smoothie (no sugar - just fruit, artificial sweetener, skim milk, and ice) which I added for a snack. It really is an object lesson in how quickly one snack or beverage can send your calorie counts high, even when the food you're eating is generally seen as healthy and low calorie.
It could be that I also went overboard on overestimating the calories at lunch. I had a big salad (lots of lettuce, onions, and 1/2 a tomato) with cottage cheese, dressing, and some croutons. I aimed high on the values for everything but the vegetables, but still. By the end of the day, while I was waiting for dinner time to roll around, I was starving and having to tell myself that this is what trying to lose weight is supposed to feel like. Yes, I was very, very hungry, but that's the price I'm paying for not being so for decades leading up to this point. I also walked more yesterday than usual, so that likely played a part as well, but I resisted the urge to eat more.
On the bright side, my bra continues to require tightening up. Besides being on the furthest hook, I now have to hike up the straps to nearly the point where they cannot be pulled up any more. New bras are definitely on the horizon, and this is quite encouraging.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Thursday: September 17, 2009
Today I felt rather down. I have a strong sense of the difficulties in getting along with people. In particular, I try hard to show people the respect, patience, open-mindedness and kindness I'd like them to show me, but I rarely receive it in return. People are so strident, and myopic. It makes me despair.
I took a walk to try and clear my head, but it didn't help. One thing I noticed about this walk was that, for the first time in many years, I was walking around with a strong sense of bodily awareness. That is, I didn't feel self-conscious or think about other people staring at me or talking about me. That doesn't mean I'm not still fat enough to elicit such attention, but rather that I just felt more comfortable in my own (saggy) skin than I've felt in awhile. This didn't clear my mood, but it was a curious sensation that I haven't felt since I last lost a great deal of weight.
Today was on the mark both calorie and nutrition-wise. I incorporated a green salad and fruit into the day, as well as lean protein and a reasonable number of carbohydrates. It was helped by a leftover rice dish which had only about a half cup of rice but about 3 ounces of chicken. Being top heavy on protein is always better than too many carbohydrates. My bad habits in the past few weeks had wreaked havoc on my digestion and caused some pretty uncomfortable constipation, so I've learned my lesson (hopefully for good). The total for the day came in at around 1380.
I've finally started to notice some lower body shrinkage. I'm still the same bulbous shape, but not sticking out as much on either side. My calves, which have always been fat and (very likely) always will be, are starting to get smaller as are my ankles. My bras, which used to be tight on the last hook, are starting to just reach the point where they can't be adjusted sufficiently to fit properly even when on the first hook, so the non-scale-based method continues to provide me with sufficient feedback to make me feel that I'm making progress.
That being said, I dug out a bra (a 38C) which was in the closet that was smaller, and it's 9 inches smaller than my current one. Looking at it feels like looking at a child's training bra compared to my current one. I think I must have worn it a very long time ago, and I wonder if my breasts will ever be a C cup again. Even if I reach the 38 in chest size, the cups simply may not work out and it'll be shopping for new support. I've got some small underwear buried somewhere as well and I'm afraid to even look at them for the time being.
I'm guessing it's a good thing that I tossed out so many of my clothes from when I was smaller as seeing them is intimidating. It probably doesn't help that my current wardrobe is relatively loose and comparing my huge shirts to smaller ones makes reaching a point where I can wear those clothes several more miles away. On the other hand, I'll have to start buying new clothes at some point and I hate that.
I took a walk to try and clear my head, but it didn't help. One thing I noticed about this walk was that, for the first time in many years, I was walking around with a strong sense of bodily awareness. That is, I didn't feel self-conscious or think about other people staring at me or talking about me. That doesn't mean I'm not still fat enough to elicit such attention, but rather that I just felt more comfortable in my own (saggy) skin than I've felt in awhile. This didn't clear my mood, but it was a curious sensation that I haven't felt since I last lost a great deal of weight.
Today was on the mark both calorie and nutrition-wise. I incorporated a green salad and fruit into the day, as well as lean protein and a reasonable number of carbohydrates. It was helped by a leftover rice dish which had only about a half cup of rice but about 3 ounces of chicken. Being top heavy on protein is always better than too many carbohydrates. My bad habits in the past few weeks had wreaked havoc on my digestion and caused some pretty uncomfortable constipation, so I've learned my lesson (hopefully for good). The total for the day came in at around 1380.
I've finally started to notice some lower body shrinkage. I'm still the same bulbous shape, but not sticking out as much on either side. My calves, which have always been fat and (very likely) always will be, are starting to get smaller as are my ankles. My bras, which used to be tight on the last hook, are starting to just reach the point where they can't be adjusted sufficiently to fit properly even when on the first hook, so the non-scale-based method continues to provide me with sufficient feedback to make me feel that I'm making progress.
That being said, I dug out a bra (a 38C) which was in the closet that was smaller, and it's 9 inches smaller than my current one. Looking at it feels like looking at a child's training bra compared to my current one. I think I must have worn it a very long time ago, and I wonder if my breasts will ever be a C cup again. Even if I reach the 38 in chest size, the cups simply may not work out and it'll be shopping for new support. I've got some small underwear buried somewhere as well and I'm afraid to even look at them for the time being.
I'm guessing it's a good thing that I tossed out so many of my clothes from when I was smaller as seeing them is intimidating. It probably doesn't help that my current wardrobe is relatively loose and comparing my huge shirts to smaller ones makes reaching a point where I can wear those clothes several more miles away. On the other hand, I'll have to start buying new clothes at some point and I hate that.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday: September 10, 2009
I'm a bit late with this Thursday's results because I've been so swamped with work that I haven't had time to blog. It's unfortunate because I feel like the blogging helps motivate me to stay on track and remain thoughtful about how I approach my eating and thinking in regards to food.
About a week ago, I decided to alter my calorie counting habits to incorporate a second day of counting, but also decided to increase the number from 1200 to 1400. I'm pleased to have done 1200 for over a month of Thursdays because now that 200 extra calories feels like pure luxury. It makes the added day, which will be Saturdays, seem more doable. I have a sense that this is a bit like the old saying about hitting yourself with a hammer and feeling so good when it stops.
Having had relatively severe restriction for awhile makes a little less restriction feel much easier. It also provides valuable insight into how I feel about the non-counting days. Ideally, I'd like to settle in around 1600 a day every day until I have lost all of the weight I want. The way in which I'm doing this seems to be imprinting the "feel" of how much food is right to eat each day in a way that I'm pleased about. I feel like I'm paving a road toward knowing how much I can eat on a regular basis and stay at a healthy weight in the future. My notions of how much I should be eating are so distorted based on portions being served in restaurants as well as the propensity my mother had for over-feeding her family at every meal.
Thursday's total was 1425, which is quite satisfactory for my new goal. I'm pretty sure that is an inflated number anyway since I always have to guess and try to guess high on the calorie counts. Having a lunch which was little more than a piece of wheat bread with a thin layer of peanut butter (due to having no time to eat) probably made it even easier to squeeze in gnocchi with a bit of cheese for dinner. This sort of eating is really not ideal for me, and I'd prefer to be doing better, but at least all of the food I ate was relatively healthy (whole grains and such). I can't help but feel a bit chagrined that there is so little in the way of vegetables and only one small banana for fruit. This is part of the price I pay when time is tight and I can't prepare proper balanced meals, and I hope to do better on busy days in the future.
About a week ago, I decided to alter my calorie counting habits to incorporate a second day of counting, but also decided to increase the number from 1200 to 1400. I'm pleased to have done 1200 for over a month of Thursdays because now that 200 extra calories feels like pure luxury. It makes the added day, which will be Saturdays, seem more doable. I have a sense that this is a bit like the old saying about hitting yourself with a hammer and feeling so good when it stops.
Having had relatively severe restriction for awhile makes a little less restriction feel much easier. It also provides valuable insight into how I feel about the non-counting days. Ideally, I'd like to settle in around 1600 a day every day until I have lost all of the weight I want. The way in which I'm doing this seems to be imprinting the "feel" of how much food is right to eat each day in a way that I'm pleased about. I feel like I'm paving a road toward knowing how much I can eat on a regular basis and stay at a healthy weight in the future. My notions of how much I should be eating are so distorted based on portions being served in restaurants as well as the propensity my mother had for over-feeding her family at every meal.
Thursday's total was 1425, which is quite satisfactory for my new goal. I'm pretty sure that is an inflated number anyway since I always have to guess and try to guess high on the calorie counts. Having a lunch which was little more than a piece of wheat bread with a thin layer of peanut butter (due to having no time to eat) probably made it even easier to squeeze in gnocchi with a bit of cheese for dinner. This sort of eating is really not ideal for me, and I'd prefer to be doing better, but at least all of the food I ate was relatively healthy (whole grains and such). I can't help but feel a bit chagrined that there is so little in the way of vegetables and only one small banana for fruit. This is part of the price I pay when time is tight and I can't prepare proper balanced meals, and I hope to do better on busy days in the future.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thursday: September 4, 2009
This was a pretty busy day work-wise and socially speaking, and I wasn't as "tight" about eating as I sometimes am, but didn't go over 1300 calories (at least by my rough calculations - it was 1270). I started the day with something which felt indulgent, but ended up being pretty good at seeing me through. I made dry French toast with one egg, one piece of white bread, two packets of Splenda, vanilla, and cinnamon which I cooked in reduced-calorie margarine. I was worried about the white bread, but it seems the egg balanced the blood sugar issues I have when eating white bread and I felt sated for about 4 hours.
I'll definitely make this French toast again because it was sweet, crispy, and filling (even without syrup or butter), but next time I'll throw a few more calories into the mix and cook with real butter. The reduced calorie stuff was so watery that it added no taste at all and the bread stuck to the pan while cooking. Given how little fat it takes to cook in a non-stick pan, I figure it's worth a bit more to have the flavor of butter.
In the evening, as is often the case, I had some problems which I dealt with by having 1/2 a pear, some crackers and some soup. Even though my count crept up near 1300 on a day when I want to do 1200, I was relatively pleased as I didn't eat at any time when I wasn't hungry and felt largely in control when I ate. That's often the bigger indicator of my sense of success than the actual counting as it influences my confidence in having such control throughout the week and in the distant future.
I read a bit about the New York City advertisement against drinking sugary sodas. That's the one where a hand pours a Coca-Cola-style bottle into a glass and the soda turns into human fat. The whole notion is to shock people. Personally, I don't know if the ad will work, but I haven't drank sugar-based sodas for a long time. I always drink diet sodas. I doubt most weight problems are based on soda consumption in large part, particular when you hear so many fat bashers mocking overweight people for ordering diet drinks with their super-size burgers and fries. The poster is just another simple solution to a complicated problem, and I expect it to generate more talk than good results.
I'll definitely make this French toast again because it was sweet, crispy, and filling (even without syrup or butter), but next time I'll throw a few more calories into the mix and cook with real butter. The reduced calorie stuff was so watery that it added no taste at all and the bread stuck to the pan while cooking. Given how little fat it takes to cook in a non-stick pan, I figure it's worth a bit more to have the flavor of butter.
In the evening, as is often the case, I had some problems which I dealt with by having 1/2 a pear, some crackers and some soup. Even though my count crept up near 1300 on a day when I want to do 1200, I was relatively pleased as I didn't eat at any time when I wasn't hungry and felt largely in control when I ate. That's often the bigger indicator of my sense of success than the actual counting as it influences my confidence in having such control throughout the week and in the distant future.
I read a bit about the New York City advertisement against drinking sugary sodas. That's the one where a hand pours a Coca-Cola-style bottle into a glass and the soda turns into human fat. The whole notion is to shock people. Personally, I don't know if the ad will work, but I haven't drank sugar-based sodas for a long time. I always drink diet sodas. I doubt most weight problems are based on soda consumption in large part, particular when you hear so many fat bashers mocking overweight people for ordering diet drinks with their super-size burgers and fries. The poster is just another simple solution to a complicated problem, and I expect it to generate more talk than good results.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Thursday: August 27, 2009
I went into this Thursday expecting to have a little trouble because I planned a breakfast with 300 calories. I figured that front-loading the day would make it harder to get through the evening, but it was okay thanks to a well-timed snack of squash and having eggs for lunch. The eggs were more filling because of the protein and fat and the squash was just filling. The bottom line is that I just couldn't face yogurt again this Thursday morning (which keeps the total down to 200 or less).
Everything went okay though. My final tally for the day was 1232, and I'm pretty sure I overestimated a few things because of the inexactness of my kitchen scale.
One thing I realized while I was packing and prepping some food for lunch was how easy it is to just "sample" while you cook or prepare meals. That is, if you're slicing some cheese for a sandwich or laying on some ham, it's easy to just idly put some of that tasty food in your mouth for a taste. This is something which doesn't seem like such a big deal when you're not counting calories, but just a couple of bites and you could be in for an extra hundred calories (or more).
I've read that people often don't realize how many calories they are eating and that's one of the reasons they overeat. People who don't have weight problems almost certainly never think about it, but they don't need to. The truth is that most food, even fairly innocuous and unassuming food, has more calories than you might imagine. When you start researching the caloric values of things like meat, cheese, bread, and pasta, you can be in for a shock. If you're not eating what appear to be child-size portions, you're certainly not eating little enough to lose weight. It just goes to show how out of touch we are with how much we need to eat. Even when we avoid the "bad" foods, it's really easy to overdo it on the not so bad ones, but I think that my Thursday counting is helping me figure these things out bit by bit.
Everything went okay though. My final tally for the day was 1232, and I'm pretty sure I overestimated a few things because of the inexactness of my kitchen scale.
One thing I realized while I was packing and prepping some food for lunch was how easy it is to just "sample" while you cook or prepare meals. That is, if you're slicing some cheese for a sandwich or laying on some ham, it's easy to just idly put some of that tasty food in your mouth for a taste. This is something which doesn't seem like such a big deal when you're not counting calories, but just a couple of bites and you could be in for an extra hundred calories (or more).
I've read that people often don't realize how many calories they are eating and that's one of the reasons they overeat. People who don't have weight problems almost certainly never think about it, but they don't need to. The truth is that most food, even fairly innocuous and unassuming food, has more calories than you might imagine. When you start researching the caloric values of things like meat, cheese, bread, and pasta, you can be in for a shock. If you're not eating what appear to be child-size portions, you're certainly not eating little enough to lose weight. It just goes to show how out of touch we are with how much we need to eat. Even when we avoid the "bad" foods, it's really easy to overdo it on the not so bad ones, but I think that my Thursday counting is helping me figure these things out bit by bit.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Thursday: August 20, 2009
One of the problems with not counting calories everyday is that you can easily lose sight of how much you're eating. This past week, I've felt like I've been eating too much every day, though I honestly have not been indulging or eating a lot. I've just simply felt an acute lack of a feeling of taxing deprivation. Maybe I have adjusted, or maybe I've had a few too many experiences where I went for a (healthy) snack when I should have avoided having one. At any rate, I felt like Thursday would be a welcome "reset" point where I'd try to steer myself back to a point of a better sense of control.
One of the reasons I've felt a little more "indulgent" (for lack of a better word) this week is that I've been sick with a cold. In the past, I've often taken the misery I've felt while sick as an excuse to indulge, particularly with ice cream. I'd feel that feeling bad meant I had earned the right to dive in and enjoy things that made me feel much better. More often than not, eating too much of things like ice cream and chips tended to just make me feel worse. That wasn't so much because of guilt, but because too much junk food will have that effect on a person.
Since I have a history of surrendering all control when I'm sick because I really don't have the energy to resist, I think I've probably been less involved in consciously stopping myself from eating. Rather than ask "why am I going to eat this?", I ask, "why not?" In the end, I would tell myself that I could "afford" that extra snack as it wasn't too bad for me and I'd been pretty well-behaved on the food front all day. I'm guessing that, while this hasn't set me back any, it has retarded my progress.
Since I entered this Thursday with a strong motivation to get back on track, I planned it pretty carefully and forced myself to ride out some pretty intense hunger pangs. The good start to the day began with putting 5 hours between breakfast and lunch, and breakfast was yogurt and fruit again so this was a struggle. The 200 calories from breakfast were certainly not enough to satisfy my body for that many hours, but I soldiered through by distracting myself with work. I wanted to add in a bit of exercise, but still didn't feel very well and couldn't manage the energy to get to it.
From a resisting the urge to eat viewpoint, this was one mighty tough day. By dinner time, my mind and stomach were screaming in my ear and I was overwhelmed with hunger pangs, but I kept beating them back mentally. It was really rough, but today's total came in at 1192, so I can say that it was a complete success.
One of the reasons I've felt a little more "indulgent" (for lack of a better word) this week is that I've been sick with a cold. In the past, I've often taken the misery I've felt while sick as an excuse to indulge, particularly with ice cream. I'd feel that feeling bad meant I had earned the right to dive in and enjoy things that made me feel much better. More often than not, eating too much of things like ice cream and chips tended to just make me feel worse. That wasn't so much because of guilt, but because too much junk food will have that effect on a person.
Since I have a history of surrendering all control when I'm sick because I really don't have the energy to resist, I think I've probably been less involved in consciously stopping myself from eating. Rather than ask "why am I going to eat this?", I ask, "why not?" In the end, I would tell myself that I could "afford" that extra snack as it wasn't too bad for me and I'd been pretty well-behaved on the food front all day. I'm guessing that, while this hasn't set me back any, it has retarded my progress.
Since I entered this Thursday with a strong motivation to get back on track, I planned it pretty carefully and forced myself to ride out some pretty intense hunger pangs. The good start to the day began with putting 5 hours between breakfast and lunch, and breakfast was yogurt and fruit again so this was a struggle. The 200 calories from breakfast were certainly not enough to satisfy my body for that many hours, but I soldiered through by distracting myself with work. I wanted to add in a bit of exercise, but still didn't feel very well and couldn't manage the energy to get to it.
From a resisting the urge to eat viewpoint, this was one mighty tough day. By dinner time, my mind and stomach were screaming in my ear and I was overwhelmed with hunger pangs, but I kept beating them back mentally. It was really rough, but today's total came in at 1192, so I can say that it was a complete success.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Thursday: August 13, 2009
One of the things about my 1200 calorie Thursdays that makes them easier to face and to manage is the certainty that tomorrow will be easier. Though I endeavor everyday to eat small portions, eat healthily, and eat less than 2000 calories so that I can continue to lose weight, the noose put around me by consuming such a low number of calories always feels tight. When Friday comes around, if I can eat 1500-1800 calories, it feels like a complete and incredible luxury by comparison.
My expectations for this Thursday were quite high because I had planned ahead by making sure I had plain non-fat yogurt on hand. Yogurt is the breakfast of choice on Thursdays because it is low in calories and it assists in the making of other food for the day by taking the place of other fattier things (like mayonnaise, sour cream, etc.). That being said, I really don't enjoy eating yogurt at all. The only thing that makes it palatable is the addition of fresh fruit and a packet of Splenda. If I concentrate on the tasty fruit, it helps me choke down the yogurt. On the bright side, this meal makes me feel like I'm eating a lot because I'm certainly eating more yogurt than I want to eat, even when the portion is moderate.
I made some "yogurt cheese" (yogurt which has been allowed to sit in a coffee filter such that a lot of the whey drips out and you're left with a thick, creamy paste) and used that in a tuna salad which I put in a tortilla in a roll-up. Doing a 50/50 mix of mayo to yogurt tends to be enough to keep the mayonnaise feeling without adding as many calories. Adding in pepper, garlic, celery salt, and some green onions makes for a nice flavor profile.
I chose tuna salad because it happened to be what I had on hand, but also because tuna tends to make me feel fuller for a longer period of time than other sources of protein. I really like tuna, but not too often. It's also relatively troublesome to prepare and I always crave cheese with it so there's a risk of adding back fat calories from cheese. I barely overcame the urge to stir grated cheese into my wrap, but did manage.
In the end, I had a good day with a total of 1287 calories. The "extra" calories were from a last minute add of about 10 baked tortilla chips to a very small dinner of refried beans. I was ravenous each of the 4 times that I ate a small meal though so it was a struggle to fight my desires throughout the day, but I'm happy to say I did quite well.
My expectations for this Thursday were quite high because I had planned ahead by making sure I had plain non-fat yogurt on hand. Yogurt is the breakfast of choice on Thursdays because it is low in calories and it assists in the making of other food for the day by taking the place of other fattier things (like mayonnaise, sour cream, etc.). That being said, I really don't enjoy eating yogurt at all. The only thing that makes it palatable is the addition of fresh fruit and a packet of Splenda. If I concentrate on the tasty fruit, it helps me choke down the yogurt. On the bright side, this meal makes me feel like I'm eating a lot because I'm certainly eating more yogurt than I want to eat, even when the portion is moderate.
I made some "yogurt cheese" (yogurt which has been allowed to sit in a coffee filter such that a lot of the whey drips out and you're left with a thick, creamy paste) and used that in a tuna salad which I put in a tortilla in a roll-up. Doing a 50/50 mix of mayo to yogurt tends to be enough to keep the mayonnaise feeling without adding as many calories. Adding in pepper, garlic, celery salt, and some green onions makes for a nice flavor profile.
I chose tuna salad because it happened to be what I had on hand, but also because tuna tends to make me feel fuller for a longer period of time than other sources of protein. I really like tuna, but not too often. It's also relatively troublesome to prepare and I always crave cheese with it so there's a risk of adding back fat calories from cheese. I barely overcame the urge to stir grated cheese into my wrap, but did manage.
In the end, I had a good day with a total of 1287 calories. The "extra" calories were from a last minute add of about 10 baked tortilla chips to a very small dinner of refried beans. I was ravenous each of the 4 times that I ate a small meal though so it was a struggle to fight my desires throughout the day, but I'm happy to say I did quite well.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Thursday: August 6, 2009
I've been doing reduced calorie Thursdays for about a month now and the most recent one was the "worst" one so far. I actually ended up eating about 1600 calories instead of the target number of 1200. This happened because I didn't plan the meal timing very well. Lunch was timed such that I would have to wait 8 hours for dinner. This wasn't by choice, but based on work scheduling problems and how they affected meal timing. Around 6 hours after lunch, I was so famished that I had to eat something, and then I ate more than necessary because I was starving.
I know the basics of appetite control and part of it is that you should never wait until you are starved to eat or you'll eat too much. The lesson I learned from this is that I need to plan the meal timing better if I want to hit the target on low calorie Thursdays.
I know the basics of appetite control and part of it is that you should never wait until you are starved to eat or you'll eat too much. The lesson I learned from this is that I need to plan the meal timing better if I want to hit the target on low calorie Thursdays.
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